Thursday, August 7, 2008

Thunderstorms, Mamma Mia!, and Claustrophobic Hockey Players


At 5:32 this morning, I was awakened by a crash of thunder. I used to be terrified of thunderstorms as a child, but I've grown out of that petrified stage and now just find them annoying because no matter how hard I try I can't sleep through them. So, I decided to read some of "Tuesdays with Morrie" and pace around with the lights on in my room, trying to make myself tired enough the sleep through the storm. No such luck. When the storm finally passed at 6:37am, I laid back in bed, turned off the lights, and snuggled with my Buffalo Bills pillow, it took awhile, but I finally fell back asleep and had the strangest dream. I dreamt I was at war with this air-heady, Mean Girl, Paris Hilton type and I was kicking her booty. She tried to throw water on me and missed so in retaliation, I decided to throw a carton of eggs on her and with much success, I hit her. Once, she was covered in yoke, I told her, "I hope you have an egg-cellent day!" (I'm even corny in my dreams). Then suddenly almost every guy I knew in college, high school, and elementary school was there and they were siding with me and the mean girl went away and cried. Then one of the guys tackled me and I smacked him and told him "don't mess" and woke up. I wonder what the dreams book have to say about that one.




Onto a topic that has some importance in this world like.... MAMMA MIA! I went and saw it Tuesday night with my mom, she found two free passes on the side of the road to a local movie theatre while she was taking a walk one day, so she asked me if I wanted to go see MAMMA MIA! with her. To my mom's delight, the free passes worked and we got to see the movie for free. It was fabulous! The scenic views of Greece were amazingly beautiful and that's an understatement and who knew Meryl Streep could sing? Her voice is amazing (unlike Pierce Brosnan, but he gets an A for effort) and she's always been an amazing actress. The movie was funny and the music was fabulous (Those Swedes really make some excellent music) and of even more importance I have a new mini-crush. Colin Firth....





I've always enjoyed his acting and thought he was attractive, but after watching MAMMA MIA!, I developed a mini-crush on him. Maybe because he was so sweet and he was so willing to step up to the plate and be Sophie's father. Or maybe the fact that he could sing and play the guitar and had an English accent. In any event, he's my mini-crush for the week, maybe even two.




I was out to dinner the other night with Harley and I shared with her a recent thought I had about hockey. If a hockey player is claustrophobic, does he freak out when he goes into the penalty box? I mean I know the penalty box is mostly glass, but for some claustrophobic people it doesn't matter. If they are in a small space, they freak out. If a hockey player is in this position does he say to the ref.... "Excuse me? May I please sit my penalty somewhere else? Like the locker room? I am a really bad claustrophobic." (okk, I just realized that no hockey player would probably use those words when asking except maybe Jason Pominville. He'd be that polite, he was a Lady Byng Trophy nominee after all). What would the ref say? "Sure, we'll cater to your illness and let you sit your penalty out in the locker room." or would it more likely be, "Are you kidding me? Get your pansy ass in that penalty box. You should have thought of these job hazards before you chose this as your career!" I think it would be the latter and I really don't see any hockey player asking to not sit his penalty in the box because he was claustrophobic, they probably mumble "oh crap (or other choice words)" to themselves, take a deep sigh and get in the box. No matter how excruciating it is, they sit there calmly even if they are freaking out inside and almost want to kill themselves every time the ref's whistle is blown and it delays his penalty time even longer. Or I could be completely crazy about this theory and no hockey player could ever be freaking out in the penalty box due to claustrophobia and it's just a crazy theory. But don't you think after all these years of the NHL and the players that have played in the NHL, there has had to be at least one player that this theory has happened to. I mean didn't former Buffalo Sabres Right Winger Alexander Mogilny miss some games because he had such a fear of flying? So, why couldn't a hockey player be claustrophobic and be afraid of the penalty box? Maybe they just never admitted it or maybe all the claustrophobic hockey players are goalies! The guys in hockey who even if they cause the penalty one of their team mates has to take one for the team (literally) and get into the box. Maybe that's how hockey goalies are born. Their thoughts are...


"I love to play hockey. I want to be in the NHL. I want to one day hoist the Stanley Cup over my head and kiss it in victory, but man does that penalty box scare me!!! I mean what if the door doesn't unlatch and I'm stuck in there with the penalty box babysitter!!! I mean I don't think it's possible to crawl out the top and even if we break the glass to get out of there, that's dangerous! This of all the cuts we could get or a piece of glass could land in my eye and blind me!!! Oh wait, there's a position in hockey where you don't  have to go in the penalty box? You stand between the pipes for the entire sixty minutes of the game and have the puck aimed right at you and it comes at you at lightning speed. Sounds a heck of a lot better than being in that box! I'm in!"


I'll bet good money that has happened, it's not so far-fetched.



2 comments:

bugg said...

hahaha....i love the goalies thought process....lol.

Defy Gravity... said...

haha... thanks... I swear, I truly believe that's how nhl goalies are created...